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Saturday, June 11th, 2005

Subject:Paris Hilton: A Diatribe.
Posted by:aholl1225.
Time:12:54 am.
Mood: calm.
One of my least favorite people of all time would have to be Paris Hilton. "Why," you may ask, "what has she ever done to you?" Nothing, of course, she has never done anything to me. She's never done anything worth mentioning, yet everywhere I turn, there is Paris Hilton.


It is like Satan impregnated a crack-whore.


Whether she is awkwardly fellating some greaseball on video or giving pregnancy tests to cows, or singing or just standing there with a vacant look on her face (which is her specialty, really), Paris Hilton is a waste.

And, it seems to me, she is a symbol of all that is wrong with Western society. She is rich. She is attractive. But she is talentless, so she uses her sex appeal and wealth to get whatever her selfish little heart desires. She cares for nothing so long as she gets her way.

To sum up? Paris Hilton very well could be the Biblical Whore of Babylon.

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Friday, June 10th, 2005

Subject:Shallow Life-goals...
Posted by:aholl1225.
Time:3:57 am.
You know, all I really want to do with my life is become incredibly rich, famous, and attractive. Then I will spend my life the Brad Pitt way, never shaving and showing up at fancy things looking like a sasquatch. Only I will complete the "Bermuda-Hobo" look with Lucien Pellat-Finet clothing.

When you add



to



Life is better than everything.
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Thursday, June 9th, 2005

Subject:Coldplay's "X&Y"
Posted by:bonnevoix.
Time:8:04 pm.
Mood: amused.
Someone once said that to be snarky is to offer snippy, sarcastic commentary.

Snark is not what one would expect in a review of Coldplay's new album, X&Y. Music critics are falling over in their praise for this album. But one man, Jeff Miers of The Buffalo News, knows better. Here are some highlights from his 2-star review of the album:

"The time I spent listening to the album was also one of the most boring hours I've whittled away since my last trip to the DMV."

"...suddenly, the field of alternative rock began to appear like a cross between a sensitive guy's group meeting and a commercial for Starbucks."

" "Is there anybody out there who/is lost and hurt and lonely, too?," Martin breathes during album-opener "Square One." Oh, gee whiz, Chris Martin, I bet there is. Millions of them, all clutching $20 bills to their breasts, waiting anxiously to plop them down for the new Coldplay record, thus setting EMI's stock value to rights."

" Embracing Coldplay's white, clean and neat world is akin to flashing a peace sign at a George W. Bush rally; it's pointless, an empty signifier, and a shadow of a gesture that once, perhaps, held real meaning."

And my personal favourite...

"At various times, Martin urges whomever he perceives his listener to be to "Tell me how you feel," "Say how you feel," or admit that "You just want somebody listening to what you say." All of this adds up to a load of self-important bollocks."
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LiveJournal for Daisy St. Patience's House of Snark.

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